Limericks
Limericks are among the most popular forms of original poetry in the One True Thread. The form of a limerick involves five lines, where the first, second and fifth lines have (with small possible variations) the same meter with three stressed syllables each and all rhyme with each other, while the shorter third and fourth lines also share a meter with just two stressed syllables per line and also rhyme, resulting in the rhyme scheme AABBA. All stressed syllables are separated by at least one unstressed syllable, and the placement of unstressed syllables at the beginning and the end of a line is optional but must follow the same pattern for all lines corresponding to each otherhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerick_%28poetry%29. The content of a limerick is usually comical and frequently features a protagonist together with a place name where the protagonist is said to come from. On the OTT, the conventions on limerick content are often treated as optional, however, while the conventions on form tend to be followed faithfully (unless deliberate violations of the form are intentional for comic effect). Poems There once was a comic on xkcd; Sand castles by a sea of semencoffee. It started to fade, The timewaiters all prayed, And la Petite returned! "Holy Shit," says me!!!! ::::: StratPlayer, There once was a comic, so sweet with a little girl name La Petite. But she came and went and all hope was spent... The little bitch! ::::: StratPlayer, What's the deal with that first strong sea wall? What's the next hat? Will Cueball soon fall? But the best-guarded mystery In this thread's crazy history: What does MobTeeseboose think of it all? ::::: ggh, I was feeling a little perplexed What to post instead of plain text? I've done Double D And a song parody So a limerick seemed to be next! ::::: Ebonite, There once was a poster named Ebonite who's limerick has just one oversight It's written all purty, but just isn't dirty; It needs "boobies" or "penis" to look right. ::::: StratPlayer, This forum has maddening ways That keep me exhausted for days Time waiters challenge me To show off creatively For off-handed nuggets of praise ::::: mathrec, There once was a woman in a bucket She pulled on the rope as she said "fuck it" She reached toward the sky But she could not fly On her ass she landed, so suck it I have a meowlpy on my bed She has yet to be fed This isn't going to end well If the limerick scheme if followed So I better just stop while I'm ahead ::::: azule, There once was a girl with a crown And pink boa of "Clerics" renown She otted all dip And soon she did skip Away with a quick "Molpy down!" ::::: BlitzGirl, This thread sure enjoys a good ditty ev'n if they be never so witty there are some who do sing if a smile they might bring but our puns don't get more than mere pity ::::: airdrik, I know that we've had some before But like sandcastles built on a shore They're always quite fun And when we are done There's certainly room for some more! ::::: BlitzGirl, I've never been much of a poet I sit back and let others do it But when the pope asks I get off my arse Even I'm able to limer-it ::::: HES, My rhymings are somewhat a mess My rhythm too I must confess but what matters most is pleasing the host This last line I'm going to guess ::::: HES, I like making posts at the ONG To keep the thread rolling along I considered an OSH But that was a wash So I just did another old rONG ::::: BlitzGirl, There was a TimeWaiter named Laura Mae Who could happily OTT the whole day away. But then she learned a trick, Pouring sand with a click And now she can't stop playing Sandcastle Builder aaaaaaaaaaaahh!!... ::::: lmjb1964, I thought it was just a dumb game Where clicking increases debt gain Now I'm the head of a place called the Fed But it's okay, 'tis only our kids who'll be pay'n ::::: slinches, Looks a lot like the Newest Bangs Brother! (Of course it could be some other) But with sharp OTTer eyes It's not a surprise Good catch, let's look out for another! ::::: BlitzGirl, There was a young dragon of Time Who loved all the OTTers who rhymed. But he had tests to take That he couldn't forsake. So he said "Ch*rping m*ustard gr*pev*ne!" ::::: SBN, There once was a Thread called the One True Where the folks were creative and fun, too. They had WhOTT-ifs and rONGS, They made OTTified songs, And of course, the occasional pun too. ::::: lmjb1964, You're welcome, Sir Chronos of Dragon Now drink some good ale from a flagon With one thousandth post You still do not boast This thread trundles on like a wagon ::::: HES, Just to make a little thing clear When I said "Damn the APs" back there I do care about grades But I'm a jack of all trades And to study's not much of an affair ::::: ChronosDragon, BG, what have you done to me? I can't stop, master of cruelty! I give all my might when I try to write I rhyme like BBAAB ::::: HES, Yes, limericks tend to upstage All coherent thoughts, even rage As with every decree Here on the OTT The feeling will pass, next newpage ::::: BlitzGirl, There once was a momal decree A bowlification4,5 I see OTThercomic4 (new) A retrOTT-if7, too CHRDRG, happy 1000 to thee! ::::: ZoomanSP, There was once was a PagePope named BlitzGirl Who put the NewPage in a big whirl. We had posts limerick Till we all became sick Better stop, there's a chance that we may hurl. ::::: lmjb1964, There once was a Cuegan from somewhere who wondered why water would come there. They climbed a big1 hill, were at sea level, still! and saved their whole tribe with a RUN scare. ::::: Angelastic, On the other hand going to grad school Can be difficult if you don't follow this rule Make use of study aids And aim for good grades That'll show your professors you're no fool ::::: slinches, Our Beanette and dear Beanie-1 Had lots of Panther Salve-y fun Her stomach soon grew And resulted in two Beanie Babies when they were all done! ::::: BlitzGirl, There once was a bot that got newpix Posted a beanONG every fewpix But when I ninja'd it The poor thing threw a fit And showed me the right way to do 'pix ::::: BlitzGirl, So slow here, what does this portend? Were there OTTers that I did offend? Oh now I remember - The first full September Despicable, dreaded wip-end ::::: BlitzGirl, The OTTers, they frolic about Away on the side that is Out So I'll post a rONG And molpy along Keeping things on the OTTerish route ::::: BlitzGirl, I only just noticed, with gladness The badge earned for Ninjaing Madness Can be earned if you make The game stop while you take A full coma to hold off the badness ::::: Eternal Density, ChronosDragon reached 1,000 posts About fellow OTTers he did boast But he slipped in a penis Did everyone see this? We followed with cakes and a roast. Optional Mome Decree: Continue with the poetry! I suck at limericks and other poem tricks So I might aim for doubly dactyly's. ::::: Valarya, An OTTer was recently busted For stealing a truck full of custard When the cops caught the perp He exclaimed: what the chirp? I thought I was taking the mustard! ::::: Eternal Density, I had seen what the sly dragon did That penis-y word that he hid If you look back you'll find I responded in kind Somewhere in the past-newpage grid ::::: BlitzGirl, I'm not sure if you were aware But the decree was a limerick up there the first line of the decree was underlined you see Which causes confusion somewhere I retract that which I said previously I posted the thing far too hastily for what I'd not seen was that ED's post had been a Double Dactyl and not a poem with rhymes free ::::: ChronosDragon, Whenever the OTT starts to snooze Somebody calls for the muse. Then poets all day take their words out to play but punners must still pay their dues! ::::: ucim, The OTTers are beat by no one We write poems and all have good fun But cookies I bake Sandcastles I make My OTTification's not done ::::: k.bookbinder, Oh good, glad you noticed my fun! To be fair, I did only post one I started to guess What to do with the S But the compliment by then was done! ::::: BlitzGirl, Tis the war that transcendes all of Time 'twixt the wielder of pun and of rhyme. With words, if you play you'll be taken away and subjected to tortures sublime. ::::: ucim, It seems that the pun is a drag. Though the punner might think he's a wag, 'tis the lowest of wit as the world will admit but at least the joke's not in the [connection lost] ::::: ucim, There once was a ninja named Lactive whose stealth skills were quite unattractive xe waited some wix and began the longpix where a boost made xer rather more Active ::::: Eternal Density, The pagepope's OTTercomic, of course Is wowterful, just like the source! (The stockpile of kegs Was brought down by the legs Of my dear molpy army work force!) ::::: BlitzGirl, One day Neil showed up with brain slugs With the sole goal of mind control face-hugs Some people fell victim And others just hit them And Aluisio seemed to me on drugs. So I gave out some pixel-art pumpkins Halloween themed head-Trojans, or something I thus saved the day For a while, anyway Until a new strain came a thumping. ::::: ergman, There was a fine fellow named Cueball Known by some as a bit of a screwball. While he may not be facile At building a castle Without hands, neither'd be you all. ::::: ggh, There once was a seaish-sized thread Where it seems many souls went to bed. We let out a shout: "Hey, MEETUP! Come out!" And soon they rose like the undead! ::::: BlitzGirl, Peeps from the past come a callin', Everybody re-welcomes the fallen, Never one to miss out, I poetry spout, Summoning even the deaf with my hollerin'! ::::: ergman, Pinot is also quite fine. Eating goes well with that wine. Never however eat inside. It's obsolete. Surely it can't be benign. ::::: ucim, There was a long thread about Time With OTTers from every clime. Once, Madness descended, But Pinkishness ended And OTTers responded in lime. ::::: svenman, I once met this shy guy at work Who looked at his screen with a smirk He told me 'bout Time, OTTers writing in lime So now he's my weird friend from work. ::::: svenman's friend Kat, An OTTer who lived in Karlsruh' Made a wiki page just for haiku. Didn't yet have enough Of that editing stuff So he made one for limericks, too! ::::: svenman, The Python of Monty did make a three sided record to take advantage of people who count only up to two sides on a disk that's not fake. ::::: ucim, mrob on the last page unfurled A feature of WOW for Time World Sandcastles would fall And we'd stand in thrall To our own sea now surging and swirled! ::::: BlitzGirl, A cold raptorcat from the hills Needed something to sooth aches and chills He searched near and far Till he found a big jar spoiler'''Panther Salve/spoiler' ::::: ''BlitzGirl, The Othercomic for today Regards planes as described to the lay. The alt-text gives news: Hydropower they use. Better hope that those dams don't give way. ::::: taixzo, The Flood way up in an air lane? Now that would be fun to attain A Next Level trick Perhaps we can stick Our theme park inside of a plane! ::::: BlitzGirl, Jar-jar with chainsaw of pun thinks that he can't be outdone. He won't disavow Apocalypse now. I think that I'd better RUN! ::::: ucim, All the saws and the donuts I've flung But Jar Jar is the hero unsung! He's chased Jose off So my hat I will doff And for now I shall just bring an UNG: ::::: BlitzGirl, When I come home and I stretch up I relax and I read and I sketch up A drawing or three Then hello OTT! It's time for some wowterful ketchup! ::::: BlitzGirl, There's something I thought I should say In my attic I've something to play. On Mad magazine's cover EIGHT tracks like no other Have a super spectacular day. ::::: MistyCat, There was a new poster named "it" Unaware that they were holy writ The Timewaiters stared Their final goal, snared In the needle-pulled thing just a bit! ::::: BlitzGirl, When things aren't growing your way You now have been given a say. You click on a thing, Delete it, and ding!1 There's space to keep baobabs at bay. 1No noise is actually made by deleting things. ::::: taixzo, A blitzreport and BlitzGirl's ketchup Are like putting an OTT sketch up. When a post makes me swoon, E.g. Then I realize there's no need to kvetch up. ::::: lmjb1964, Thanks for the new treeish feature! Now I can prune out a creature Or castle, or tree That I don't wish to see Bye Lucky; I think I'll impeach her! ::::: BlitzGirl, There's not a good reason to fear. The place to sign up is here: https://www.jamberoo.net/ But prepare to get wet Also I made my posts rhyme like a limerick but getting the meter right would take all year. ::::: Eternal Density, Now, why did I have to go do it? Why on earth did I put myself through it? ED mentioned a ride That had spiders inside So I looked them up, and now I rue it. ::::: lmjb1964, Transistors are writing in verse! It really could be a lot worse. If you're programming perl in the lap of a girl, I think many would rather disperse. ::::: ucim, They threatened our cat-thing with flak If he failed to give poems a crack. "An assignment like that Did you think I'd blanch at? I've written sestinas, you hack!" ::::: ggh, The iThing, it seems, had the knack of putting the OTT out of whack. But wiping its brain though it seems inhumane brought everything molpishly back. Or could it perhaps be that puns are things that for safety, it shuns? In that case the shoes with the teeth are the dues paid for lexical-style overruns. ::::: ucim, An OTTer who lived In Karlsruh' liked Limericks Matching Haiku. In "Five, seven, five" times Two, he did strive and manage To write one all new. ::::: svenman, There once was a fellow named Cue. Of anything he had no clue. But together with Meg And his old, faithful bag, He left home to find out something new. ::::: ZoomanSP, There once was an OTTer name Zooman. Not sure if a tortoise or hooman, When xe became pope It really was dope. 'Cause the poetry business was boomin'. ::::: lmjb1964, Then June Bug took leopard in hand poetically taking a stand. The thread shall be filled with what Zooman had willed using only an organized sand. ::::: ucim, Once an OTTer in the OTT Made a limerick-making decree. So I add just a few Lines to tell you: The new OtherComic's girl is like the sea. ::::: SilentTimer, A physicist lived on a sphere, but where - that is still not so clear. Because every map that we used has left us completely confused. They only showed that we are "here". ::::: balthasar_s, An OTTer with wolpies times three An OTTer, that I know as 'me' Is not great at rhyme, So has taken some time To follow the page pope's decree. ::::: SBN, An awesomeful poem for sure! I hope that there are more in store. And I hope SBN Who has stopped by again Has a new FFS to work for. ::::: lmjb1964, Whom will KXA phone? Her aunty? Or her Mama in Nysa County? On which date? Midnight? Noon? “Hi, it's me from the moon!” Having phone coverage is a bounty. ::::: Sustainabilizer, The previous page-pope's decree Brought forth many haikus. ('Twas me.) I fully approve Of the current pope's move Decreeing, "Let Limericks be!" ::::: svenman, Two cars in a physicist's speech Depart the equator to reach The Earth's northern side Where they must collide Or come to a halt with a screech. ::::: svenman, Returned from the basement with trees, A jungle it's called overseas. I read ev'ry post, Enjoyed more than most, And wanted to add on to these: ... ::::: ZoomanSP, This OTT page that we're on Is right at this time nearly done. The post by the goat, As I'd like to note, Will be just the very next one. ::::: svenman, References